did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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