I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I AM VODKA MAN
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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