remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
