I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize