dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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