Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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