he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize