I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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