She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
