my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
