I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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