no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
