God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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