Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's Friday. Sex?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
