the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
