Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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