It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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