I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
