My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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