No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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