the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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