Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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