Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
