There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
