Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
