he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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