Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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