i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
