A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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