Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
