your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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