Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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