woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
