Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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