; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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