so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
