Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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