Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Success! We fucked roommates!
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