Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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