chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
