By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
