The brown eye won't let me do that either.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
