i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
