LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize