That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
