Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he fucked my hip out of place.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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