i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My vagina is officially offended.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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