oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
