so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
