OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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