I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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