He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
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when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
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Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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