What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
