I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
