no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
