I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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