I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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