But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
